The one where Steve's still got a yin for Yang

Meanwhile, on the West Coast of the US, Microsoft's hilarious pursuit of Yahoo! has already yielded a dizzying sequence of counter-moves, feints, bluffs and evasions to the point where it's looking like an episode of Friends. So why not cast it as a soap-opera, with some minor gender changes? The synopsis goes ...

Steve (Ballmer, Microsoft CEO) is having a mid-life crisis. Once irresistible to women, he now finds he's regarded as passé. Just down the road, Jerri (Yang, CEO of Yahoo!) has also been having a bad time. She once had star quality, but is looking a bit faded. And she's running out of dough. Deep down, though, she's still alluring. Steve thinks Jerri could rejuvenate him and decides he's simply got to have her. So he makes his approach, waving wads of cash and other inducements, and to his surprise is crudely rebuffed. 'What do you take me for - a cheap floozie with no options?' is her response. Steve is astonished, then enraged. If Jerri won't come willingly, he declares, then he's going to smash down her door and drag her out by her hair, just like Real Men used to do in the Old Days (he's that kind of guy).

Jerri is a bit scared of Steve (who isn't?), but hasn't lost her fighting spirit. So she goes to Eric (CEO of Google and Steve's Lifelong Enemy) and invites him to stay for a few days. Why don't they hang out together and see how it goes? Eric is keen, brings his search engine over and Jerri's cash flow suddenly starts to improve. Steve, meanwhile is madly jealous, so they decide to have some fun. In the latest episode, Jerri and Eric 'are in the bedroom next to Steve's, both fully dressed but banging the headboard against the wall and dramatically moaning, 'Don't stop! Don't stop!'

What does Steve do next? Stay tuned.
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